On this episode of High Risk Birth Stories, Bailey shares her story of choosing to take fertility medication, struggling with bleeding due to issues with her cervix, and being induced at 39 weeks with her first baby. She also shares why her delivery required an episiotomy and her experience recovering.
”Looking back on my first pregnancy” – with Bailey
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Dr. Fox 0:00
Welcome to High Risk Birth Stories. One of the top 200 health and wellness podcasts in Iceland. today and next week, we are going to hear Bailey tell her story. Today, Bailey is going to tell the story of her first birth, which ended with a full-term birth of a healthy girl. Next week, Bailey is going to tell the story of her second birth. That was complicated by a retained placenta all during COVID. All right, I wanted to give all of you a heads up that starting in a few weeks, we’re going to be combining the High Risk Birth Stories podcast and the Healthful Woman podcast into one podcast that’s going to drop every Monday morning, under the Healthful Woman title. The plan is to have a podcast every Monday, and the podcast will either be a birth story or an informational one like we currently do on Healthful Woman. And we may add some new formats as well. So if any of you are followers of this podcast, but you are not yet followers of the Healthful Woman podcast, please be sure to start following Healthful Woman in order to get all of the upcoming birth stories. I believe the prior birth stories will still live in the podcast world under this banner and on our website for moving forward. They’re all going to be under Healthful Woman. All right. I’ll keep reminding you all about this for the next few weeks. Thanks for listening. See you Monday on the Healthful Woman podcast. Welcome to High Risk Birth Stories brought to you by the creators of the Healthful Woman podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Nathan Fox, High Risk Birth Stories is a podcast designed to give you the listener a window into life-changing experiences in pregnancy, fertility and childbirth. Bailey, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for volunteering. How’re you doing today?
Good. I’m doing great. Thank you for having me.
Dr. Fox 1:51
It’s my pleasure. So how did you find the podcast originally? I’m always curious with this.
I love listening to podcasts and just things to keep me busy. So I know that Amy Baron has a platform on Instagram. But since I don’t have Instagram, I decided to put her into Spotify and see if she had a podcast. And I saw like right away her name popped up. So I just assumed that it was her podcast. And when I pressed into it, I heard a man’s voice. And I was like, wow, that’s not her. And I realized that it was your goal, I guess, interviewing her. So that’s how I started listening.
Dr. Fox 2:24
Oh, and how did you know to search for Amy. Because
a little while ago, I had Instagram for like a short amount. And I guess I just like ended up ended upon her page. And I saw that she had like, a lot of interesting content. But then once I didn’t have Instagram anymore, then I was wondering if I was like still able to, you know, hear different things.
Dr. Fox 2:44
Pretty cool. How long did it take you as a listener to decide you’re going to volunteer yourself
A little while. With everyone that would listen to you, I’d hear you say “if anyone wants to volunteer their story”, I would always tell my husband, like call, I don’t know, it’s really not my personality. Like for people who know me. It’s like, pretty funny that I’m doing this. But I figured you know, let’s just give it a shot. Probably like, I don’t know, a bunch of months by now. I’ve listened to pretty much all of your podcasts. And they’re really interesting. So,
Dr. Fox 3:13
Thanks for that. And thanks for volunteering. And yeah, you’re doing great thus far. So you’re-you’re a natural, you didn’t even know. And we’re going to be talking you have two children and two births then. So one was 2019. And one was the end of 2020. So I thought we would talk about both of them. And we can go from there. So tell us just, you know, set the stage for us before your first pregnancy. You know, who are you where you live in? What are you doing sort of what’s going on coming into your first pregnancy.
I’m originally from Toronto, Canada, and my husband is from Far Rockaway, we ended up meeting through like a mutual friend. And we got married. I was 20 my husband was 24. And we were living at a time in Far Rockaway. In the beginning I just had known from my mother and my sister and just people in my family that they all had like really hard pregnancies in either like the first few months or even the whole thing. Just like terrible nausea and whatever. So I was a little bit nervous to like start off like my marriage like that, you know, if I would get pregnant right away. So I discussed with my husband maybe on going on birth control for a few months. So that’s what we did. And about three months. And I was like, you know, let’s get off it and try to get pregnant. Great. So I remember we were like traveling, just like having a really great time, not thinking at all about it. And I remember the first time that I thought about it, we were like, I think I woke up it was our eighth month anniversary and I was like wow, that’s so cool. Like, we were married for eight months. And then it just hit me and I was like wait, why are we not pregnant? Like what’s going on? So at that point, like I started taking like different vitamins and whatever, but like nothing too crazy. And then I think we’re like probably 10 months married, and I said to myself, I was like, Hey, we should probably go to the doctor and get checked out. So at that point I had like, never been to an OB or anything like that.
Dr. Fox 5:10
Who gave you the birth control?
So my doctor from before I got married and like I went to.
Dr. Fox 5:17
Yeah, got it. Okay,
Because I was on birth control before I got married. Right. So just like, so everything is good for the wedding. Right? And so I kind of just continued that.
Dr. Fox 5:25
Understood. Okay, but you hadn’t seen anyone since you got married?
Dr. Fox 5:29
We got a name of a doctor. He was the only one that took my insurance. So I went to him. And he basically checked me out asked me like different things about my period. And we basically figured out that like, because I have super long cycles. My ovulation never like landed on the time. Like, like Jewish, according to like Jewish customs with like when you can be together. So that’s why we haven’t gotten pregnant. Yeah. So he explained to me that he was going to put me on clomid. And how he explained it to me was that Clomid doesn’t enhance your chances of getting pregnant. Just if, let’s say, anyways, take you six months, it will still take you six months. It’s just making it like a possibility. So I was like, Okay, great. Like, let’s try it. So I was totally not thinking about it all. I don’t know why it’s like, I guess my personality has changed a little bit. But I was just like, Okay, great. Like went on, it went on with my life. And then it was our first-year anniversary. And I remember, we went away for a little bit, and the doctor called me and he was like, Oh, your numbers are a little bit high. I’m not saying at all that you’re pregnant, but maybe just go and take a pregnancy test. So I was like, okay, and then I told my husband was like, okay, it’s fine. We’ll do when we get home like it was just like so in my head, like no big deal. Like it did not think I was pregnant at all. And, end of story we were pregnant. So that was pretty cool. So we got pregnant with my first daughter.
Dr. Fox 6:54
Beautiful. So how did the pregnancy go in the beginning?
So in the beginning, I was like, pretty nauseous. It was a pretty like regular pregnancy. I was nauseous for like a very short amount. One day I woke up and it was just like, gone. So my mother was a little concerned. She was like, Oh, the doctor and make sure everything okay. But everything was fine. We did a lot of traveling. It was summer. And I would say when I was about 16 weeks pregnant, we went to Israel. And we were doing like a lot of hiking. And at one point, like I felt like I wasn’t sure what was going on. But I was had a suspicion that maybe like some of like, my fluid was maybe leaking. But like, it wasn’t so much. So I was like, I don’t know, maybe I have no clue what’s going on. Right? So my husband’s like, okay, when we get home, we’ll call a doctor and you’ll go get checked out. So we went for two weeks, I think I was 18 weeks. When I got back, I need an appointment. And he checks me and he was like, No, everything is great. And I was like, Sure, like I’ve been filling stuff. And he’s like, No, like pregnancy is like that, like, you’re fine. Everything is closed. So I was like, Okay, great. So he left the room.
Unknown Speaker 7:59
Was this the same doctor that had given you the Clomid?
Yeah. Yeah. So he was my Doctor Who still is my doctor with both my daughters. He ended- he’s great. And I like him a lot. So that worked out. So I get up to get dressed. And he had already left the room. And I felt like exactly what I just explained to him. But like even more, and my personality is like very, I don’t like non confrontational. If that’s how you say, like, I do not like bothering people. And I in my head. I was like, Oh my gosh, like, this is what I just said, but he told me everything’s fine. So everything’s fine. And I’m just like, Not going to say anything. So I just, I just left the office also, like maybe if I would have seen him in the hall, maybe I would have said something, but also really didn’t want to bother him. I know he’s a busy person. So I just left and I went straight to do my errands. I remember I went to Amazing Savings and I got out of my car to pee the neater and I looked back on my seat and there was like blood everywhere. And I was like, Oh no, this is not good. So I quickly drove home. And I went to the bathroom and it was like not a good situation. I was like heavily bleeding. So I called my mother and she was like, you have to call like their emergency number. And I don’t know why, maybe was like in a little bit of like shock. I was like, Are you sure this is emergency like I have to call? She’s like yes, you have to call because I was always nervous to call like you know they said it’s a big emergency you can call.
Dr. Fox 9:28
To be young. It’s wonderful. Nothing is worrisome.
I didn’t want to call them and they’d be like oh like why calling this non emergency you never. It was my first pregnancy. I was a little dumb. So I called and I spoke to like not a my automated something out there who said they would call me back and I was just waiting and I was calling back and I called my husband and he was on his way home from work at that point. He was on a train. And he was like maybe you should like call Hephela. So I was like, I was like okay, let me call me Mother again, it just makes sure that this is like I should do this. So I call my mother and she’s like, of course, you should have like, this is not good. Like you’re bleeding a lot like you need to, you know, you need to go to the hospital, right. So I call Hephela, and I explained everything and the came over in the meantime, my husband called back to tell me that his phone was at 1%. And he was like, probably, like, 30 minutes away. So
Dr. Fox 10:23
How is it 1% How do you marry a guy, who let his phone get down to 1%? Have you thought about that? That that’s a significant flaw.
He was like, Okay, listen, my phone is probably gonna die, but I’m gonna get home as fast as I possibly can. And we lived around like a, I would say probably like a 15 minute walk from the train and he walked every day, or I would pick him up. And I was like, how are you gonna get here? He’s like, I don’t know. I’ll run. Like, you know, we’ll figure it out. So I was like, okay, in the end, it was pretty cool. His phone actually never died, um, even know how that happened. But
Dr. Fox 10:55
the miracle of Hanukkah.
Yeah, exactly. Okay,
So, so it’s all came, they checked me out. They’re like, yeah, like, you should really go to the hospital. Like, it doesn’t look good. So in the end, as we’re like, pulling it off, like, Please, can we wait for my husband? And so they’re like, Okay, we’re waiting. But we should really go. And as we were like, they’re like, Hey, we just got to go. My husband and I see running down the street. He ran it like in five minutes, like the 15 minute it was crazy. So he like jumps to the ambulance, and we go to the hospital. So they checked me. And thank God, the baby was totally fine. And they were like, we don’t really know what’s going on. And my doctor wasn’t there was like, one of the residents or something. And he was like, I don’t really know, like, why this happened. But everything looks okay.
Dr. Fox 11:50
Were you still bleeding when you got to the hospital? Or had it stopped?
I was still bleeding, but much, much less. And at the end, I was like, not bleeding anymore. Like by the time they let me go home.
Dr. Fox 12:00
And they couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Like the cervix or the uterus or anything? They weren’t sure?
So not that they told me they were just like, oh, the baby looks fine. And we don’t know why this happened.
Dr. Fox 12:11
Wow. Yeah, that’s pretty scary. All right.
For some reason I like I didn’t think that it was anything to do with the baby. Like, that’s what everyone obviously was nervous about. Like, in my heart, I was like, I really think the baby’s fine. I don’t know why I felt that like, I was pretty like positive through the whole situation, even though like it was really scary. I was like, I don’t know, like, I really don’t think that it’s the baby. But also, I didn’t know what else it could be. Because all I’ve ever heard was that, like, if you’re bleeding really heavily, it’s probably not so good. Okay, so. So they said that we can go home and if within 24 hours, I start bleeding again, and I should come right back. So we went home, we go home, it was like really like three in the morning. And the next morning, I woke up and I started bleeding all over again, like bleeding tons. So we went back in, and they and this time my doctor was there. And he was like checking me and whatever. And then he basically said that I had a friable cervix and that some of the cells I don’t know if I’m getting this right, but some of the cells on like, maybe the inside, like flipped and came on the outside.
Dr. Fox 13:15
Yeah, yeah. It’s sort of like like, unfolds almost like open sort of like a I don’t know, like a flower, I guess where the the part that’s normally concealed is now exposed. And it was obviously just bleeding for you. Which is actually good news. Because it’s not coming. The concern is that it would be coming from the placenta higher up in the uterus, which would be generally not good at 18 weeks, if it’s coming from the cervix. It’s certainly annoying, and it’s scary, but it does not tend to be too dangerous, fortunately,
Exactly. Yeah. So he actually ended up cauterizing my cervix, and yeah, he told me that I can go home and that I should be like, really careful. Like, I should just be resting a lot. Yeah. And that basically, you’d ever, you know, just just wait it out. So that’s what we did. We went home, funnily enough, I had a flight, because it was right before Rosh Hashanah. I have flight back to Toronto. And I remember in the hospital as cauterizing. I’m like, do you think I can get on a flight tomorrow? And he’s like, um no. I was like, Are you sure I haven’t been home in so long. And he and I kept bothering him that they like, I think we ended up like pushing off our flight a day or two or something like that. And then he was like, listen, right before your flight, you can call me but I’m not making any promises. And I ended up the office didn’t open till like nine and my flight was at like 9:30. So we actually drove to the airport before calling him because I was like, if we wait, we’re gonna miss the flight. And like I called him on the way and I got like his like, private number he’s like, Bailey? How did you get my number? It’s really funny. But anyways, I was able to go home so that was great.
Dr. Fox 14:48
Okay, and then so did the bleeding happen again? Over the course of the pregnancy?
Dr. Fox 14:49
Amazing. Yeah, it totally stopped and that was amazing. I Yeah, so that was pretty much the end of that. When I went back for my 30th week ultrasound, he was like measuring the baby was like my first ultrasound and like a whole bunch of weeks. And he basically noticed that her stomach was much smaller than the rest of her body. So he was like, pretty concerned, like it was at like, her stomach was like 7%, though, right? So he, like I remember he kept like doing like ultrasound like, you know, like over the stomach, like over and over. And so at that point, he wanted me to start going into the hospital, like once a week to just get stress tests and everything like that. And he explained to me that as long as the baby is growing, then they will keep it in. But as soon as she stopped growing, they would like I would have like an induction. So and he also said that he wasn’t going to let me go past they think, like 39 weeks or something like that.
Dr. Fox 15:50
Right? Was this was this concerning to you? Or are you just sort of like going with the flow?
So in the office, my husband was actually there, and he was the one that like, picked up on it. He was like, is everything okay? And then like before, he told us, and I don’t know why, like, I was just, I guess I didn’t really realize until we left office, and then I started yeah, like freaking out. And it was definitely something that was like weighing on me for the rest of the pregnancy. I didn’t know like, what that meant at all, you know, like, I wasn’t like, is she going to come out to forms like her stomach tidy? And like the rest of her body big like, what does that even mean? And like, you know, I definitely was like, really nervous. They are telling you different like risks and whatever. And It is definitely something that was a worry for me for the rest of the pregnancy. Yeah.
Dr. Fox 16:36
Did you go on the Google?
I did. Yeah. I did.
Dr. Fox 16:40
Was that was that helpful? Did it freak you out a little more?
Um, it probably freaked out a little bit more. There was a lot of stories, though, of like, good things. Also, you know, like seeing like, oh, like they said, My baby’s too small. And then they induced me and my baby wasn’t so small or whatever. Then we’re seeing that like, it doesn’t mean your baby’s not healthy. It’s just small. You know, right.
Dr. Fox 17:01
Did your mom or sisters ever have any this?
Never. My mother was like, Well, I had nine kids, and I’ve never heard of this before.
Oh, you’re one of nine?
Dr. Fox 17:09
Oh, okay. Got it. Alright, so, ultimately, they did induce you. I mean, close to your due date, right? Like 39?
Yes. Yeah, exactly. 39 weeks, because one time they went in and they’re like, Okay, the baby, like fell off the charts. She hasn’t grown since last week. So we’re gonna induce you like tomorrow or whatever. So I Okay, so I went in. And in the night, my husband, he manages different properties. And on the way to the induction, he had to stop at someone’s door. And I was like, Do you realize we’re going to have a baby right now? We just stopped by a tenants house and fix the door. You know what, it was pretty funny. But it was an emergency, I guess because we were just getting induced but
Dr. Fox 17:49
Work calls, otherwise.
I was like, “none of you know how devoted your landlord is”, you know,
Dr. Fox 17:59
How did the induction and delivery go?
So it was super long. They started off by getting me to drink. Like every few hours. It was really not doing anything. But it was like through the whole night. I started towards the morning having like pretty strong contractions, but I was totally fine able to just like, breathe through it. And in the morning, the daughter came to check me and I was only at one centimeter. And at that point, I was having like really strong contractions. And I was like, Are you joking? me like one centimeter This is insane. Like, I was like going crazy. And so he he said that. What he thinks that we should do is we should insert the balloon, the dreaded balloon that I now know.
No epidural, no.
Dr. Fox 18:45
By choice, or did they not want you to get one yet?
At that point, it was by choice because I have like a real real fear of needles. And I knew that at some point, I was gonna probably take an epidural beforehand, I had taken Hypno birthing to like help me not get the epidural. But at that point in the morning, I was in so much pain that I figured I was probably going to get it but my fear was definitely overriding my pain. So I was just like, I just kept pushing through it. I was like, No, I’m not getting this epidural. And so he he told me that the balloon is really not painful. And that some people like find a little uncomfortable when they insert it but otherwise it’s totally fine. So it’s like okay, so they bring in this huge balloon thingy. And with like wires coming out, I don’t know what was going on. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like you’re putting that in me? And they’re like, Yeah, don’t worry.
Dr. Fox 19:35
It’s not gonna hurt at all!
I was like, I was like, how how does this not hurt? Like, whatever anyways, so they put it in and like I would say like, instantly within minutes, I was in like, the worst pain like I have ever felt. And I my mother, like has had all her babies without epidurals. And she was like, Baby, you’re like At the point of no return like this, he was like, if this was me, I would get an epidural. Like, I was like, beyond like, consolable It was so bad
She was with you on this over the phone?
Yeah, no, she was with me. Yeah. And I was just like, I can’t do this, like every time I felt when coming on, like, I was completely freaking out. And I was just like, it was just such horrible pain. So I ended up getting an epidural, which was so scary, but ended up working out. And I remember like, I would think it was like two hours later, they came in, they’re like, Wow, you’re at five centimeters. So like, the balloon definitely worked. And I think that’s why it was so painful. Because I also didn’t get the epidural til pretty much right before they took out the balloon. So but once I had an epidural, then it was really fine. I was just like sleeping or whatever. And I was doing great. And then a little bit later, they’re like, Okay, it’s time to push. So that was really exciting. I started pushing at that point, they were starting to get concerned because the baby’s heart rate kept like dropping, and even at certain points, like we weren’t able to hear it at all, and then it would come back. And they were starting to get really nervous. They started like, giving me oxygen and telling me like, Hey, you can’t push now like we have to give the bvrs and at one point the whole pushing was like really quick. I think I pushed like in 15 minutes like she was out. But like it was so crazy in there like it was it was like a madhouse it was filled with like, doctors and pediatricians and specialists because because her heart rate was like so bad, though. The doctor at one point came over to like he came to like my head and he said, we thought that we were gonna have to do like vacuum and forceps. But instead, I’m just gonna give you an episiotomy, and we’re just getting the CV out.
Dr. Fox 21:45
There was never talked a C section though, because the baby was low enough to do a vacuum or forceps?
Yeah, yeah, there was never like, I was definitely nervous because C-section is like my biggest fear. So the definitely the feeling in the room was like super tense. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like what, like, you know, is everything gonna be okay? But he didn’t he didn’t mention anything to me about that.
Dr. Fox 22:05
Now, when you say it was super tense? Did Did your doctor seem super tense? Or does he seem like everything’s gonna be fine. It’s all under control. I know that for you. It’s sort of a scary environment. As the heart was dropping. His pediatrician is in the room. There’s nurses, there’s all this stuff happening. But did it seem like for them, This is sort of like, you know, standard, you know, standard delivery kind of stuff, or were they also did it appear to you like they were, you know, freaking out?
So he definitely appeared to me nervous, like when I was pushing, like, I heard him like, seeing quieter stuff like, oh my gosh, like, Baby, like, come out. Like I heard him saying that. And maybe yeah, just because there were so many people in the room. It just like made that the environment more times, but he definitely seems like yeah, like pretty, like we have to get this baby out.
Dr. Fox 22:52
So we did an episiotomy to expedite to have the baby come out quicker.
So prior, I saw like a whole table of tools. And I said to my mother, I was like, Oh my gosh, like, are they going to use those on me? And she was like, no, that’s just for when the baby’s born. Like, don’t worry, like, you’re gonna be good. And when she came to tell me that he was gonna do an episiotomy. I, like I said, for I’m a pretty nice person. I like totally lost it. And I started yelling at him. I was like don’t touch your tools, don’t cut me! I was freaking out, because I was so scared. And he was like, listen, right now, like, our concern is the baby, and we have to get this baby out, and you kind of just like, like, was like, spoke to me and just like, walked away. And I remember, as he was walking, I was yelling, I was like yelling don’t touch your tools! And like yelling, like a crazy person. And my husband, at a time didn’t think it was so funny. But now we laugh about it, because it was like, super, not my personality at all. To be yelling at my doctor.
Dr. Fox 23:51
It’s really hard. And, you know, listen, I’ve been in a situation on the Dr. end, and it’s, it’s really tough, because in this sort of, like idylic world, you know, people come with, with their birth plan, and they say, I want this and I don’t want this, and I, you know, I don’t want an epesiotomy or this. And then there’s this also, okay, so when the time happens, we’ll have a conversation about it. And they call this you know, shared decision making models. And it all sounds wonderful on paper, like all this idea. But ultimately, when someone’s there, in labor, in pain, pushing and the heart rates dropping, it’s sometimes difficult to sort of sit down and have a reasoned conversation and ask questions and answers, right, because you’re not in that right frame of mind. And the doctor is not necessarily in that frame of mind. And there’s a clock going, like there’s usually pressure to do something quickly. And so it’s hard, it’s really hard to sort out what’s the right thing to do, because on the one hand, you know, we don’t do things to people who don’t want them but in other hand, like, like there’s things that have to be done. It’s not easy. Now I’m not offering a solution to that. I’m just saying that what you experienced is very common in around the time of birth. And I think that not everyone realizes that that sometimes it gets a little exciting for lack of a better term. And it’s it’s not always this calm, reasoned conversation type of thing. Sometimes it is. But sometimes it’s not. You know, you’re describing something that’s like you’re saying it’s funny in retrospect, and I guess in a sense it is. But it happens a lot, where people are just like, not, you know, they’re screaming. It’s like, everything’s going crazy, in a certain sense. To try to like, you know, bring it back into calm. It’s not always easy.
Yeah, exactly. And honestly, looking back I, I’m like, Yeah, my doctor did, he made the right decision. And that was the right thing at the right time. Like, totally looking back. At the moment. It was just, you know, really scary. Yeah. But I definitely from, from how it was after she was born. And just seeing that all the decisions were made correctly. Thank god of inducing me a week earlier, because probably, if we went to due date, I would have had to have a C section because she was so weak. When she was born. I don’t know if she would have even been able to, like, you know, do her work to come out. What was her birth weight? So she wasn’t even so small. She was six, three, they were all actually, like, really surprised that she was that big. Basically, what happened was that he gave me an episiotomy. And he, I honestly remember this, he just, like, stuck his hand in and basically just pulled her out. Like it was crazy. And she and she was born, the cord. Umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck like two times. Yeah. And yeah, and she was having Mykonia like, she was in super like distress. Yeah. So they basically just like took her like the pediatricians. She was in the room. She always stayed in the room. But yeah, like after she was fine. And they gave her to me and, and that was great.
Dr. Fox 26:41
So ultimately, okay, she didn’t have to go the NICU. Everything was Yeah. They just chose good outcome to sort of resuscitate her a little bit sort of perked her up, and then she was okay.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Dr. Fox 26:52
That’s what usually happens in those circumstances. If you get the baby out in the right time. Usually, they just recover perfectly fine. And you know, they’re all good. If you wait a very long time, it could sometimes go south.
Dr. Fox 27:03
Wow. All right. What was that? Like? first baby? Hmm.
Honestly, I think because like, the whole situation was like, so shocking and crazy. Like, obviously, I was like, so happy. But it took me like a couple days to be like, wow, like, you know, like, super excited, I think.
Dr. Fox 27:19
Yeah. In the beginning, I was more just like, oh my gosh, like, This is crazy. And I was like, still mad that they gave me an episiotomy. I cannot believe they did that to me!
Dr. Fox 27:29
Did you recover okay?
Um, yeah, it was really hard because he gave me it was, it was very deep. Mm hmm. And I remember at the time, he was telling me, he said, Listen, you’re tearing already, like, the baby is not even like here and you’re already tearing which I don’t even know how that’s possible. But you’re already tearing like, this is he said, like, the safest thing so that I don’t tear like so terribly. Yeah. But yeah, it was really it was a hard recovery. Yeah. But and I remember, I had really bad cramping. I would say for the whole six weeks, like until I was six weeks postpartum. Terrible cramping. Like, sometimes I wouldn’t be able to, like, get off the couch. It was really, really hard. I remember calling my doctor and saying this just doesn’t feel normal. Like I’m having such bad stomach cramps. And he told me everything within the first six weeks is normal. And I was like, I don’t get it. Like what happened? You wake up the day of six weeks, and it’s just gone. Like, it didn’t make sense to me so much. But I was like, okay, whatever it is what it is. And I actually woke up six weeks, and my cramps were gone. So that was crazy.
Dr. Fox 28:37
You know, it’s, it’s true that almost everyone in their first baby is going to tear anyways, it used to be a long time ago that doctors would routinely do an episiotomy, and the thought process was easier to deliver the baby. And when you tear, it’s going to be sort of like a more what we call surgical incision, meaning it’s not this sort of like jagged tearing, that happens naturally, but more sort of done surgically easier to sew up. And then subsequently, we’ve learned that that’s not the best strategy to do it routinely, because you end up causing sort of more pain and more issues than you avoid. And so nowadays, so what’s recommended now is what’s called like selective or restrictive, where you do it only a times, and some people interpret that to mean that you should never do it. And that’s actually wrong, because in some people, it’s the right thing to do. But you have to sort of sort that out. One of the very good reasons to do one is I need to deliver the baby quickly. Because if you had forceps Instead, you’d have a bigger tear. And so if you could do it with just an episiotomy. I mean, that’s great. Or sometimes if people are tearing in many different directions, it’s the right way to go. But again, it doesn’t sound like your doctor does them routinely. He just said for you in this birth. It’s the right decision. And it sounds like it was the right decision. Despite the fact that it was a it was a difficult recovery. It’s definitely more difficult recovery. But if he had to do forceps or do a C section That would have been a much more difficult recovery. Yeah, you’re you’re sort of left with few options. I’m curious now that you’ve been around the block a couple times more. You know, I think you’re your daughter is three now. Right?
So looking back, I’m just curious. What do you think about all that? Your first pregnancy, you talk about being a little naïve, and a little, you know everything was sort of all good. How do you think about that now?
I definitely think back that everything is really meant to be. How everything worked out so well. In the end I had a really great outcome. Obviously I had my healthy baby. Even in the small things in the moment, maybe I was upset at certain things, like how he gave me an episiotomy, or just, I don’t know. It felt really hard in the moment, but looking back and seeing that even though it felt hard. That was ultimately the best for my baby and I. And I’d so much rather have had an episiotomy instead of a C-section. Yeah the recovery was super hard. The episiotomy was so painful. And with my second baby thank god I didn’t have on and I didn’t tear. Like two different worlds, completely different. And so I’m just thankful honestly that I didn’t have to have a C section, and I think I’m just thankful pretty much.
Amazing. It’s good stuff. Bailey, thank you so much for telling your birth story. It was really interesting, and you had a good perspective on it. And we’re going to have you back! We’re going to have you talk next week about your second birth, so we’re going to do this again.
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Disclaimer: The information discussed in High Risk Birth Stories is intended for information and entertainment only and does not replace medical care from your physician. The stories and experiences discussed in our podcast are unique to each guest and are not intended to be representative of a standard of care or expected outcomes. As always, we encourage you to speak with your own doctor about specific diagnoses and treatment options for an effective treatment plan. Guests on High Risk Birth Stories have given their permission for us to share their personal health information.